Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
