I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket