There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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