What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
