So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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