I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
