i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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