People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
