I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
