just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
