this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
