You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
