A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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