So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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