For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
