Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize