Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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