it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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