I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
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I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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