hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize