you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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