I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
