idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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