I cockslap morals
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
