i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
