omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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