Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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