Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
