So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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