The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
