So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
