yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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