wakey wakey hands off snakey
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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