My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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