im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
