I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
