We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
