Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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