It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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