This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
why does every cop we meet know your name?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
