i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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