Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
