Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
