Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize