Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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