is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
