i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
