So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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