Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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