Can i not drive my cunt home
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize