Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
