My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
