no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
