I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
