sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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