He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize