i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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