Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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