true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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