Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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