i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
