Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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