He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
