at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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The uberlube is also flammable
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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