I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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