i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
